so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
