What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
