You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
