I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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