Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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