how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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