I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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