HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
