Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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