discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
