I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
