If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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