it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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