I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
