i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
