I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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