My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
