I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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