At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
