Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
MIDGETS
????
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i think i just lost a toe
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
