Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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