these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
