i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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