at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
