Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
