Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
