yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
