I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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