i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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