I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
