I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
