i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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