i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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