She is in my trunk
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
