New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
