I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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