I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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