I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
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This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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