My sheets look like a crime scene.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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