you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
