It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
