i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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