I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
