You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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