Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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