If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
