you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
