On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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