This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
