There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
