Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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