do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
