I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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