I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
