so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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