I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
