I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
