If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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