She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
