I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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