worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
