My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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