Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
