Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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