Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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