I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
